As part of my on going research in to what teens want to know I often read teen magazines for girls and if there’s one topic that dominates these fine publications it’s guys. What do guys want in a girl? What do guys like? How do you make guys like you? And, of course, why do guys do the things that they do? Well last week I was at the beach reading one of these magazines, and enduring the puzzled looks of people passing by, when I got the idea that maybe Teen Advice should explore this topic in a little more detail. So in my quest to tell you everything you need to know in order to survive the teen years I decided to break the guy code and start by letting you girls in on five little things that teenaged boyfriends like to keep close to the cuff.1 . They like being “the boyfriend.”
Girls often think that guys are players-at-heart who love the single life and only settle down because society tells them that they have to, but nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are some guys who get a serious case of the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome) every time they make a commitment to a girl but these guys are the exception not the rule. The other guys have a word to describe our flakey won’t settle down counterparts – immature. For the most part guys love being in love just as much as girls do.
2 . They don’t like when you pull away from Them.
Guys are competitive beasts so you’d think that the hard to get game would make them give chase, and in the beginning stages of a relationship it does, but once They have settled in and made a commitment to you they want the chase to stop. If you keep it up, if you keep pushing them away with your right hand while pulling them closer with your left, you’ll quickly find that they start pulling away altogether. Once They open their hearts the game totally changes for they. WThey don’t want to chase you forever so when you pull away from us, they pull away from you in what amounts to a psychological tug-o-war. The more you pull away the more they respond in kind. Keep it up and everyone just gets tired and calls it quits. So once you’ve landed your guy don’t keep playing hard to get, instead let him know that you’re happy you were caught.
3 . They want their friends to like you … but not love you.
In guy world the approval of their friends is very important so it makes sense that They want their friends to like you. But what they don’t want is for them to covet you. When they hook up with a very hot girl and their buddies ogle her it is a real turn off. This is why so many really pretty girls find themselves single. they just can’t handle the thought of losing you to one of their friends because if that happens they lose their girl, one of their boys and a big chunk of their egos. So if their friends like you and think you're cool that’s great but if they wish they could have you that’s bad. Unfortunately this is totally out of your control. Rest assured that as guys get older they get more secure and this one matters less but in the meantime know this - if you’ve ever been dumped by a guy who you thought really liked you shortly after meeting his friends take comfort in the fact that you were probably just too hot for him to handle.
4 . They want you to like, but not love, their friends.
This one goes along with the other one for obvious reasons but there is a little more to it. Obviously they don’t want you ditching them to be with one of their buddies but they also don’t want you to work overtime trying to win their friends over. Sometimes no matter how great you are their friends will only act luke-warm toward you. This is most likely not your fault and usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them but as long as their friends and you can hang out without incident the boyfriend in them is happy. they don’t want you to go out of your way to get their friends to like you because they want your energy focused on them and only them. they don’t want you to care what other guys think about you. they want your efforts and attentions to rest firmly on them. Is that immature? Probably. But hey, They are guys!
5 . They worry that YOU will dump THEM.
If there is one thing I see over and over in the girl magazines it’s question after question about how to keep a guy interested but that’s not really very hard. When they like you, they like you and that’s all there is to it. In reality they probably spend more time worrying that you’ll dump them than they would ever spend thinking about dumping you. So relax and stop fixating on how or when their relationship will end and just be their girlfriend. That’s all it really takes to keep a guy happy.
