How to be annoying in an Elevator
- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
- Sell Cookies
- Shave yourself.
- Open your bag, look into it and ask yourself loudly: “Will it have enough air in there?”.
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
- Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
- Do Tai Chi exercises.
- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!""
- Give religious tracts to each passenger.
- Meow occasionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Leave a box between the doors.
- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
- Start a sing-along.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
- Say "Ding!" at each floor.
- Lean against the button panel.
- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
- Bring a chair along.
- Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
- Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
